Tuesday, 1 November 2005

Welcome To Nutsville

Which of the following are true, and which are false? Prize to the first person with the correct answers. It may be a virtual prize:

Regular residents of Ndola are now afraid to go to the service stations, after a group of taxi and minibus drivers physically lifted up a private vehicle and literally flung it across the forecourt of one station, claiming that as their livelihoods depended on fuel they should get priority.

Some kids from our community who have progressed on to a secondary school in the area have been sent home because of rioting. See, the Headmaster died. Because the Deputy Head bewitched him. And the Deputy Head has now run off because the students were rioting and harassing him over the juju.

The Prez pulled up alongside me at the weekend, as we were trying to hitch into town. He gave a little wave, then ZP1 pulled off again.

I tried to stash my bag in the 'Parcels Here' section of the supermarket, but there was no server there. A live chicken sitting on one of the shelves clucked helpfully at me though.

I managed not to throw up in one vehicle which gave us a lift, as in the 40degree heat the 5-day old remains of a slaughtered pig which had not been washed out of the vehicle began to hum along to the radio.

We realised there was a potential burglar lurking outside the house by the sudden presence of an overpowering stench of smelly feet.