Thursday, 24 February 2005

Food, Glorious Food

I have only myself to blame. I picked up a copy of Heat magazine in Lusaka, as a change from all the heavy reading I do.

So here I am, surrounded by kids stunted by malnutrition, and whilst I myself am in no danger of dying from starvation, a large part of my time is spent wishfully thinking of vegetables and meat, not to mention booze and chocolate. And what does Heat have in store for us? “65 Celebrity Diet Tips That Really Work.”

To be fair, they had me howling with laughter. Let’s just say I don’t think these slebs are famous for their intellect. Although, who can say if these things are actually true? Anyway, some of my faves:

Madonna never eats food in restaurants.
Wow, she must make a scintillating dinner companion.

Sophie Dahl apparently dropped 2 dress sizes by drinking green tea.
Well sure honey, if you don’t ingest anything else.

Kim Cattrall puts lemon juice on her chips as she swears it dissolves the fat.
Sweetheart lemon juice may break down large fat molecules into smaller ones. However it does not alter the fat or calorific content of your plate o’ fries. Duh.

Kate Winslet claims to have dropped 25 kilos by eating oatcakes and cucumber for breakfast.
WTF did she have before???

Liz Hurley eats nothing but watercress soup when she wants to drop weight.
What would be the point in living? But then, what is the point of Liz Hurley?

Mariah Carey eats an ice cube when she’s hungry. Best of all it takes the body 40 calories to melt the ice, so she’s burning calories without consuming any.
NUTS. Where's the sectioning officer?

When Beyonce craves chocolate she eats a banana instead.
Woo woo! Party girl.

What is the matter with these people?