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Saturday, 4 December 2004

Testing, Testing..

Hello, hello, am I on? Oh well, I guess it's an African kind of internet maintenance, it will begin six months after it's scheduled to. I am feeling fed up. But Guy Browning expresses it much better than I could, so have a read here.

I am fed up with people stealing things. Ridiculous things, but infuriating. Like the soap out of the bath-house. And clothes off the washing line. And my snake-stick!

Today I am going to place a bucket of disinfectant in the long drop and use that for washing my hands, instead of soap, which will be stolen. Now I have got a shiny new red bucket for this purpose. The kind of bucket that someone is likely to steal. Now, it seems a little (but not much) OTT to try and chain this bucket into the long drop shelter somehow, so I have devised another plan. Thanks in no small part to Google Images. It may be overly hopeful, but I am hoping that the skull and crossbones universal poison symbol is recognised here. I have printed off several of these images which I shall plaster on to the bucket. In the hope that these petty thieves will just sod off and leave my shiny red plastic bucket alone. I'm only trying to wash my hands! Enough already!

And while we are on the subject of thieves it is now WAR with Ratty. He has gnawed his way in to the dark cupboard and eaten my potatoes. This was an extremely stupid move on his part. You must NEVER, repeat NEVER touch an Irishwoman's potatoes without permission. He. Will. Die.

I might also die. From starvation. For woman cannot live on Doritos and Red Wine alone, however hard she may try, and however much money she may have spent on them in Spar, Lusaka. No gas yet. Allegedly they will get me some on Monday.