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Saturday, 23 October 2004

Titular Block

I have set myself the challenge of posting, with restrictions. The aim being to write a post which:
(1) doesn’t mention or link to The Guardian,
(2) has no reference to insects, critters or animals,
(3) desists from talking about food in general and chocolate in particular,
(4) is not full of political rantings.

Hmm.

Dum de dum.

Da da da.

No, can’t do it. Does that look like a weird set of hobbies? The Husband says that to write something funny/interesting every day is hard work. That would be why I wouldn’t recognise it then.

“The late actor Christopher Reeve is continuing to campaign for human embryonic stem cell research from beyond the grave.”
Headline from Sky Showbiz (I know, what do I expect, but the Guardian site is down). Seriously if stem cell research is allowing people to talk from the grave then it must be stopped at once!

An ad has gone up in the office to say that someone has organised a braai (barbeque) for tomorrow, to celebrate 40 years of Independence for Zambia. It is for members only, and applicants must be mature and well behalved. I shall chop myself in two and head on down then.

The house is under threat from two enemies, and it is a race to see which one will win. Yesterday a large branch came crashing down on the house. Fell off a hewage dead tree. Hmmm. Methinks best not to be in the house if that’s gonna come down. Absence or deadness. The house is also under attack from ants. There is a growing pile of sawdust in the living room where they are marching along chewing on the rafters. Milly sweeps it up every day, but in the morning, there it is, back again. Piffle! you think, what can ants do? Well, I have seen them fell trees. They probably killed the one that’s about to fall on the house.

The Husband stood on a black mamba. Fortunately it was a baby and he was able to kill it into submission with some well placed rocks.

Yesterday I was Saviour of the Garden. I was skiving off work when I saw the ox cart approaching the bath-house to fill us up with water. Then I saw it heading straight for the bed of newly-planted bamboos that The Husband has been working on. After that they were going right through the deckchairs and table, and quite possibly taking out the Mbalasa as well. Halt! I cried. Please can’t you just take the path over there like any sane person? Cue huge kerfuffle and turning around of ox cart. Thems is BIG beasts.

The urchins have already started stealing the unripe mangoes. I fear we will not get any from the tree. In a somewhat timely move a package has arrived today from the MIL which contained, amongst other things, dried mango. The Husband is planning to share them out in the office. Err…might have to be more of a ‘telling’ demonstration than a ‘tasting’ demonstration though, I seem to have eaten them all. The package also contained paraphernalia for The Husband for making ginger beer. I’ve never seen someone look so happy to receive great lengths of plastic tubing.

The above reads either like a bad stand-up routine or A Letter from my Aunt.

Well, now I have used up a week’s worth of news, so Monday will be back to pilfering from the Guardian again. I am off to read a lovely non-taxing John Grisham book. Have a good weekend!