Friday, 17 September 2004


I have just nipped back to the house to make myself a lovely coffee with cinnamon and honey, only to witness on my way one of the female grazers whacking her cows in an exaggerated fashion. I have never heard such a ‘Wharummph!’ before. Perhaps she was wishing it was her husband.

While I wait for the kettle to boil yet another new and strange creature whizzes past my head. It is an insect. The size of a small bird. With rapidly whirring wings and the sound of someone imitating an aeroplane. It’s like a kid's toy, all bright green and yellow.

As I drink the coffee I notice something is amiss about the house. Finally I realise that the netting The Husband has placed over his lovingly tended plants has been stolen. Bastards! They have obviously used the opportunity afforded by Milly’s day off. The netting is the third thing to go, the others being an iron and a brush. Clearly we are harbouring an extreme ironing champion in our midst.