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Sunday, 11 July 2004

Cover Me, I'm Going In

A properly-maintained long-drop toilet is a fine thing. One that has been left to fester and not cleaned is not. I have steadfastly been refusing to switch on the light (occasional solar power) or lift the seat. I think that it must be like the overflowing sink in Withnail & I and that if I attempt to clean it I will get the fear and endure years’ worth of constipation as a result. Better to squat and go. However, this is probably not hygienic. I knock back a double gin and tonic and go in with mask, gloves and a bottle of bleach.

The double G&T is followed later by a quadruple. My liver might be taking the strain but at least I know the facilities are not harbouring a new breed of MRSA.